Hey mum, hey dad …

I went to ring you the other day.

I wanted to tell you about a camp that Darce had done with school. They were trekking the main range of the Snowy Mountains. All the places you used to cross country ski Dad. All the names you’d come home and describe and somehow through the half-listening of teenage hood, they must have wedged their way into my memory like those tiny high country flowers wedge their way into the granite cracks.

Kosciuszko, Mount Twynam, Mount Townsend, Carruthers, the Granite Peaks … I knew you’d be chuffed to know your grandson was treading the same country. He wasn’t that keen to go but he came back so buzzed. It was lovely to see.

And Madz has finished third year at uni. She still has one more to go but the fashion and textile course on top of late night bar work and life has been pretty full on so she’s taking a break. They actually encourage them to do it before their final year. She’s been given an internship with a menswear designer who’s opened a new concept store on Broadway. Just for three months but it’s a gentle step into the industry and at this stage she thinks menswear is where she wants to head so that’s great. I wanted to tell you about that too. She was so excited. She’s had a rotten time with their little terrace flooding and now mushrooms keep growing on her ceiling. Discovering the joys of dealing with real estate agents as a student!

Big sis and huz were up on the weekend for an engagement party. I love having them visit. A beautiful weekend of weather, much of it spent under the pergola at the back with a glass in hand haha.

I woke up Β in the wee hours of this morning from a bad dream and just got hit with a big wave of missingness. And as I write this now the tears are leaking again.

It will pass.

And I’m ok. I am.

Steve and I were chatting in bed this morning. He had a similar moment out at the farm during the week. Maybe it’s got something to do with Christmas. Maybe we’re just tired after another busy year. A few days off will be nice for sure.

Work has been insane which is great because it had been pretty quiet earlier in the year. But last week I had a few big jobs go off to the printers. The Catchment Management Authority is winding up after nine years and morphing into a new organisation called Local Land Services. They’d been one of my biggest clients for years till their funding tightened up so I was very flattered when they came back and asked me to design a final 56 page achievements book. I’d been with them from the beginning, designing their logo etc so it was like full circle. They should be proud of the work they’ve done in the region – the scale of their achievements is impressive.

The first flush of roses has just finished and your rose,Β Francis Dubreuil, had a good show. She has such a beautiful oldy worldy scent, real rose you know? She was created in 1894!

Francis Dubreuil rose

I know this might seem a little odd.

… it’s just a wave of missingness …

it’ll pass.

And we’re all ok. We really are.

But I just wanted to say hey.



Rose pic with thanks from here.


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    1. Francesca Muir
      Posted 3 December 2013 at 10:06 am | Permalink

      Hugs to you my friend in bucketloads. The end of the year is always manic at the best of times. Breathe and hug yourself from me. Thinking of you F xx

      • Marg
        Posted 3 December 2013 at 10:21 am | Permalink

        Thanks Frannie. Just having a moment. Then worry whether I’m sharing too much, pressing publish too soon and depressing everyone who comes here πŸ™‚ But it’s life and I think as Christmas draws closer it exposes us a bit. Work has eased off so I’ll have some time to get out and about a bit more. Some laughter coming soon. I promise. x PS I swear I’m still reeking of garlic. For anyone who reads this, Fran posted some excellent Cretan recipes last week and I gave them all a go on Sunday. Did I tell you for the first four hours I had the griller going instead of the oven. We ended up eating at 3.30! With a bunch of impromptu friends because all the family had to get back to Sydney! Here’s the link if anyone’s interested. The salad is especially yummy.

    2. Virginia McDougall
      Posted 3 December 2013 at 10:07 am | Permalink

      Dang. The last two posts had me all teary. Thanks for sharing such beautiful emotions, it is good for the soul. Looking forward to seeing you all soon – a wine on your pergola sounds lovely if I can invite myself. I can pay in baby hugs. See you all soon xxx

      • Marg
        Posted 3 December 2013 at 10:26 am | Permalink

        It’s called keeping them close Gin. You can invite yourself anytime lovey. Maddy is desperate to finally see the bayyy-beeess! Really looking forward to Christmas this year. I can’t believe it’s just three weeks away. xxxx

    3. Posted 3 December 2013 at 10:50 am | Permalink

      Oh Marg, you got my eyes full of emotions! Lovely post, very moving and so Christmasy… I get in those moods every time I get pregnant or when is Christmas… Are you sure you are not pregnant?

      • Marg
        Posted 3 December 2013 at 12:09 pm | Permalink

        Ah I laughed when I read that Sophia! Pregnant … hmmm … not bloody likely! haha. Glad you liked it. x

    4. Tracey Carpenter
      Posted 3 December 2013 at 3:54 pm | Permalink

      So beautiful Marg – Nothing like writing a letter to those you love. I’ve just discovered a file full of old letters from all me mates and loved ones. They are so other worldly – missives that took 2 weeks by post from Europe and another 2 weeks to respond. It’s so different to the instant message. It makes perfect sense to let the old fella know you’re thinking of him. Perfect Heartfelt sense.
      Loads of love

      • Marg
        Posted 3 December 2013 at 4:42 pm | Permalink

        I’m the same Trace, I can’t throw those old letters away either. But some of them from my 24 year old self are pretty cringe worthy. Glad it touched a chord – thanks for swinging by xx

    5. Posted 3 December 2013 at 6:17 pm | Permalink

      And now you have me sobbing. I have bad case of missingness on the eve of my birthday. Beautiful post Marg.

      • Marg
        Posted 3 December 2013 at 8:16 pm | Permalink

        Missingness will get you like that Libby. It’ll get you when you least expect it.
        So nice to catch up with you the other morning. Have a happy happy birthday. I hope the boys spoil you and smother you with sloppy kisses. mwah x

    6. Posted 3 December 2013 at 8:37 pm | Permalink

      yeah. it’s that time of year, bad cases of missingness. me too.

      • Marg
        Posted 3 December 2013 at 9:51 pm | Permalink

        I think that’s part of it Helen. Year’s End. Take care lovely. Sending you a hug. xox

    7. Posted 4 December 2013 at 6:16 am | Permalink

      Oh this so resonates and it bought to mind this one which I hope you love….
      it’s been playing in my head recently…it’s Christmas and missing those we love xx

      • Marg
        Posted 4 December 2013 at 8:25 am | Permalink

        Tim Minchin! I love that one too Lisa. Thanks for reminding me of it. Precious. xx

    8. bec
      Posted 4 December 2013 at 10:39 am | Permalink

      So beautiful Marg x

      • Marg
        Posted 4 December 2013 at 11:25 am | Permalink

        Thanks Bec. x

    9. Posted 4 December 2013 at 9:24 pm | Permalink

      Hugging you tonight. I too have been hit with wave upon wave of missingness this month. So thankful it’s OK, totally OK to be sad and miss them and grieve the loss. Wishing you comfort. XO

      • Marg
        Posted 4 December 2013 at 11:47 pm | Permalink

        And you Krista. XO

    10. Posted 7 December 2013 at 8:30 pm | Permalink

      What a beautiful missingness post, so touching and moving…. (and I just love the word itself!) Hope you and your family have a gorgeous and happy Christmas Marg. xx

      • Marg
        Posted 8 December 2013 at 4:34 pm | Permalink

        After I posted this Millie I went looking to see if there was a word that described what I was trying to express. It’s not regret, it’s not lament, it’s not melancholy, so for me it’s missingness unless someone can help me out with a real one πŸ™‚ Same to you Millie, hope you have a lovely time on home soil xx

    11. Posted 9 December 2013 at 2:25 pm | Permalink

      love you X
      thinking of you X
      drawing with you x

      • Marg
        Posted 9 December 2013 at 5:08 pm | Permalink

        Ah enjoy it Harrie. Have a beautiful Hill End residency. And say gidday to Ben. I was so bummed I missed his exhibition. X

    12. Posted 28 January 2014 at 4:06 am | Permalink

      thank you for sharing such beautiful emotions! all teary eyed now. It’s amazing how people can unite around the world without knowing each other personally…

      • Marg
        Posted 28 January 2014 at 8:26 am | Permalink

        ah … that’s special. Thankyou. The internet is such a gift on that front Eva, meeting and developing friendships from afar. Finding like minded people with similar interests. πŸ™‚

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