Category Archives: our little rollercoaster

musings about life and all its ups and downs

Halcyon days

If you could

would you have halcyon days roll on forever …

halycon days

If they were here and now

would you surrender to their warmth?

Cast off the boat

and float.

Face up in the turquoise.

Not a single thought of returning to shore.

halcyon days 2

The magic is in the fleeting.

The fading.

The rose wash of missingness that time adds to the canvas.

That bright burst of what was.

halcyon skies

And the gentle melancholy

 

left wondering …

 

will it ever be again?

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of Sunday mornings, gentle goals and little dreams …

The frost is thick on the ground, the sky is blue and clear.

The house is mine alone this Sunday morning so I am languishing in bed, propped up with pillows, enjoying the stillness, thinking it’s been a while.

A poached egg, fresh toast from Legall’s and a little avocado.

Polly is nosing in for a pat. Yes I love you too.

What a year this has been. Is it just me? Working in a business where everything is moving so fast, feeling the pressure to stay on top of things, to change things up, to ‘follow my passions’.

I did eight weeks of BSchool in autumn and it fuelled the fire. Don’t get me wrong, there was lots of good juice, especially for my clients, but it was very noisy. People climbing over themselves to be seen and heard online. 12,000 of them in the Facebook group. I’ve never been good in crowds. Like many of those courses and self help type books you’ll take away just a few gems and that’s OK. But I’m happy to shut the door on that one for a while. You can’t be creative in an environment like that.

It’s made me question again (I know) the role of social media in our lives and as I mentioned last post it’s something I want to talk about with social researcher aka wise owl, Hugh Mackay. I’ve finished reading his book The Good Life and I took away more than just a few gems. It was quiet. And good soul food. And it reminded me how intensely more satisfying it is to drown in a good book than bob about like a cork on social media. With a book you are down below the waves and the noise and the foam, in that exquisite womb of silence, utterly in the moment. Tim Winton territory. Senses alive. Every one of them alert and open.

Warm toes. Soft sheets. A second cup of tea. I am so very lucky.

I have also been continuing the fitness journey which has taken me away from the computer too. Four weeks in with the personal training I pinged a tendon at the base of my spine and that put me back a few weeks. If it had been left to me I would have called it quits but having made the commitment with the trainer we found a gentler path through it all and I am out the other side.

And over the past eight weeks I have learnt something.

I have learnt that I am more inclined to exercise if I have a purpose and I set myself some gentle goals. For instance, two kilometres on the bike in 8.07 minutes. Next time aim for under 8. Next time a little less. Walking the Mount with the girls I am the resident chain dragger on the hills. When I first started I’d have to stop three or four times on the climbs to catch my breath. But yesterday I walked it with no breaks. Little. Personal. Gentle goals. Trust me if I can do it, you can too. We are stronger than we think.

Hello Polly. Yes we’ll go for a walk soon.

There is so much I need and want to learn with work. I need to get a better understanding of html and css. I want to learn Lightroom. And I want to swap across from Final Cut Pro to Adobe Premiere for video editing. Mountains. Always more mountains. But one at a time.

Gently.

Go gently …

We are losing a friend. And I have been reluctant to visit because I am not of her inner circle and I can’t help but feel that’s who you would want around you in your last days. Cut down way too young with acute myeloid leukaemia. So brave and positive throughout these wickedly fast few months. I had a call from another friend who had been to the hospital last night and said it might be a good time to visit. Quiet. Just she and her partner. They were planning to be married in September. Big dreams. Little dreams. They can come in all shapes and sizes. What my friend would give just to be sitting in bed with a poached egg, fresh toast from Legalls and a little avocado. How I wish things were different…

Sunday mornings,

gentle goals,

and little dreams…

I am so very grateful, this cold clear morning, for them all.

And with that she decided to treat herself to a third cup of tea because it just felt so damned lovely to be able to stop for a while. But there was a very patient dog lying quietly at her doorway with its head on its paws, eyeballing her, poised to pounce at the first sign of movement. Perhaps no mountains today Pol. Let’s just stroll the river.

 

late evening walks

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When you don’t have the answer …

“How? How can humans do that to animals?” he said with tears in his eyes.

My 16 year old son.

Waking up to the world.

“Humanity is fucked,” he said.

So he has shaved his head and become a vegetarian.

I’m not saying that to mock him. I am actually really proud that he is starting to see beyond himself and take an interest in the wider world.

I’m not sure that I like the new look but as I’ve said before I’d rather have a conversation or a road trip than a fight about a shaved head or a tiny tattoo.

 

What frightened me more was that for the first time ever I didn’t have an answer for him.

Big questions

What do you say to your child when they start to see the realities of the world? How do you explain the corruption of our politicians? The inequities? The greed? The rampant consumerism? The dredging of the Great Barrier Reef to make way for the world’s largest coal terminal?

I said to Darce I turn to beauty and art and music for solace because while there is so much that’s wrong in the world, there is also so much that’s right. And good. And beautiful.

I stumbled on this mate and thought of our conversation.

It’s not an answer.

But it’s a start.

Postcript … I walked Mount Panorama (Wahlu) this morning with my girlfriend Sue. The clearest blue sky overhead and frost at our toes. Talking about the world’s first breakthrough for solar thermal energy. And Obama’s decision to bypass Congress and use the Environmental Protection Agency to reduce coal pollution by 30%. 

Gives you hope hey.

Have a beautiful weekend x

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  • About me

    Hi I’m Margaret. I live in Australia.
    I sprinkle creative magic onto businesses
    over at red moon creative.
    When I'm not there, I'm here and now, doing my own creative happy dance – primarily to avoid housework and other
    high impact activities. read more...

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