Category Archives: random nonsense (you’ll like these)

these will make you smile

5 tips for social media success

After two years of investigative research and intensive time wasting I think I’ve nailed the five key elements you need to have in your social media toolkit to do well. Enjoy!

1. Get a cat.
At the risk of committing social media suicide and potentially disenfranchising a number of readers who I know lovvvve their moggies, I’m going to come clean and announce that I don’t like cats. I can tolerate cats with some serious attitude, but the rest of them I can’t stand, especially the ones who invade our garden and eat little native birds. Psssssssssssssssss!!!.  But… if you want to be a social media star and you don’t like cats you must cast aside your aversions and invest in a cat. People go off their nuts about cats on social media. Don’t ask me why.

2. Get a puppy.
If you can’t handle cats, a puppy is your next best bet. People will fall over themselves to oooo and ahhhh over new puppies. But this one comes with a proviso. Puppies turn into dogs so your social media shelf life with a puppy is limited. So if I was heading down the canine route I’d focus on the toys, and frankly the more interbred the better – I’m thinking Schnitzeldoodles, Multipoos and Shityous.  Shityous are particularly popular. Truly you can’t go wrong. I remember years ago when I was working at the uni and Steve came up to visit, he brought our new little puppy with him. I wondered why he kept visiting throughout the week, with puppy in tow. Why? Because on a college campus full of bright young things, nothing, noth-ing has pulling power like a puppy. You may laugh. I have to live with it.

3. Adorable little children.
Refer to Point 2. But ….you do get more mileage out of adorable little children than you do with puppies but as Aunt Patty of The Simpsons put it so beautifully in her raspy, cigarette smoking voice:  “The older they get, the cuter they ain’t.”
Important note: With reference to Point 2, the interbreeding thing … it doesn’t work with kids.

4. Move to Italy or pretend you live there.
Social media is mad about anything Italian. It simply does not matter what photo you take in Italy, people will LIKE and SHARE the madonna out of it.

5. Anything turquoise.
Living in the country, I’m a total sucker for this one. Any coastal fringed shots with glistening, clear, turquoise water gets my holiday juices flowing and everyone else’s apparently.

… so there you have it, five gems that will set you on your way to becoming a social media legend.

….

Which kind of brings me to my real point.

Because I don’t have a cat, a puppy, adorable little children (with respect Madz and Darce), and I don’t live in Italy or near the coast, I’m going to be spending less time on social media and more time having a life and putting my efforts here.

So… if you find your way here, or if you come already and would like to know when a new post is up.

Please SUBSCRIBE

Please SUBSCRIBE

Please SUBSCRIBE!

(That last one’s meant to look garish.)

You can do that in one of two ways.

1. Simply enter your email address in the envelope on the top of the column to the right, press submit and that means you’ll receive an email from me each time I do a new post. Which for newbies, on a good week might be 2 times per week, in a slow period might be once every 10 days. Bottom line is you won’t be inundated. And you can always unsubscribe if I start to Shityou.

OR

2. You can hit the RSS  icon (Really Simple Syndication) (it’s the third icon, the one that looks a bit like radio waves – under the envelope in the top of the right hand column) which will send a notification to your Feed Reader. What’s a Feed Reader? Well it’s like a centralised hub of all the things you subscribe to online. I personally prefer to get emails but I’m sure some of you might be able to enlighten us about Feed Readers, how to set them up, and which ones you prefer. I know Feedly is a popular one.

….

On another little tangent my 22 year old niece Libby is studying Journalism and International Studies and she’s spending this year in Mexico doing Spanish. She has started a blog called Nacho Libby,  and it’s really lovely. She’s “exploring the colourful culture of Mexico one stag leap at a time”. Watch this girl. She’ll do good things.

Behind the scenes, we’ve had lots of beautiful rain of late so Bathurst is looking a bit like Ireland at the moment. We’ve been picking pomegranates all week and they’re so pretty I don’t want to juice them. Steve and I did some video and sound training with my old cameraman mate Brendan Cooper from Cooper Films during the week and we had a ball so we’re looking forward to doing more little vids around the traps. Very exciting actually. We’ve bought some proper radio mics (that’s tech talk) and it’ll mean we can start getting a lot more playful with it all.

Have a lovely week and I hope those tips are helpful.

Let me know if you think I’ve missed any.

And don’t forget to subscribe! And if you’re already subscribed then please SHARE the Shityou out of it :)

lots of love

Marg x

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If Tom Cruise wants to rock climb my body …

… he’d better get in quick.

I’ll tell you why in a sec but back in the day, those heady Top Gun days of bomber jackets, bad profile shots, sunsets and motor bikes, I have to admit that I was a big Tom Cruise fan.

Tom Cruise Top Gun

This was before he gave up rock climbing and took up the far more dangerous sport of couch jumping.

Poor Tom.

Anyway I was standing in the shower this morning and I noticed that one of the world’s great rock climbing challenges, the Hogan Overhang, is in danger of disappearing forever.

It hasn’t disappeared yet and it’s not likely to happen overnight but the signs are there Tom. Having said that, you don’t have to strap on your crampons just yet, I’m just giving you the heads up, the bicycling is starting to take effect.

Anyway I just thought I’d brief you on what you’re potentially facing … and for this I have referred to the M Numeric scale of grade for rock climbers. No doubt you’re familiar with it.

The mission, should you choose to accept it, goes something like this…

The first stage…

M1-3: Easy.  Fairly low angle, usually no tools required.

The second stage…

M4: Slabby to vertical with some technical dry tooling.

This might also involve a bit of M5 work:  Some sustained vertical dry tooling.

The third stage …

Now this is where it gets tricky Tom but after re-watching the opening sequence of Mission Impossible 2 I’m confident you’ll be up to the challenge. It begins with a stretch of M8: Some nearly horizontal overhangs requiring very powerful and technical dry tooling; bouldery and/or long cruxes. Then it ramps up to an M10: At least 10 metres of horizontal rock or 30 metres of overhanging dry tooling with powerful moves and no rests. Good mental attitude and solid technique necessary.

But…there are also some points that might require a bit of M12-M14 work: bouldery, dynamic moves and tenuous technical holds. This is the Hogan Overhang at its worst.

Get through that and you can expect a bit of M9’ing: Continuously vertical or slightly overhanging with marginal or technical hold, or a juggy roof of 2 to 3 body lengths.

The home straight …

If you’ve made it this far you’re through the worst. Now you can take in the view and really start to enjoy yourself. There’s a bit of M6 work: Vertical to overhanging with difficult dry tooling followed by an M5 to bring it on home which you’ll recognise as sustained vertical dry tooling.

This blog post self destructs in 5 seconds.

Probably a good thing ;)

Have a great week guys. I’ll try and get some photos happening again soon. Just had too much on.

xx

Photo of Tom from here.

 

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We interrupt this blog for a fitness infommercial.

To be read in a loud, fast Cockney accent. Think Russell Brand.

….

Are you tired of feeling sluggish?

Well that’s because you don’t do nuffing. Right?

If you don’t do nuffing, nuffing’s ever go to change. Right?

So we’ve created a specially designed program to get you off that couch and into the jeans of your dreams.

It’s called MARG’S AMAAAZING 15 MINUTE GET ON YOUR BIKE PLAN.

It’s a simple 2 step program. It’s SOOO simple even I can do it.

2 steps. YES, YOU HEARD ME. TWO steps.

….

STEP 1: Get your fat arse out of bed.

STEP 2: Get your fat arse on to an exercise bike and pedal for 15 minutes.

….

That’s it!

You can pedal on the lowest setting. You can pedal on the highest setting.

OR…

you can sit up there for 15 minutes and do nuffing for all I care.  But that kind of defeats the purpose of getting up there in the first place doesn’t it you duffers. So stick on some music. Set a timer and off you go.

….

How much does this AMAAAZING transformation program cost?

NUFFING.

Yes you heard right.

NUFFING.

It’s free and it comes with a lifetime guarantee unless you decide to leave you fat arse in bed and do nuffing. We can’t do nuffing about that.

Not only do you get MARG’S AMAAAZING 15 MINUTE GET ON YOUR BIKE PLAN but we’ll throw in MARG’S AMAAAZING DAILY CHECKLIST to help make sure you GET OFF, and STAY OFF, your fat arse throughout the day. What’s it cost I hear you say. NUFFING!  ABSOLUTELY NUFFING! It’s FREE.

Click below to download YOUR VERY OWN PRINTABLE COPY.

MARG’S AMAAAAZING DAILY CHECKLIST_ew yeah download me now

Marg's daily checklist

What have you got to lose?

Lots by the look of it.

So get on your bike, download the checklist, and get pedalling to a better you.

Or do nuffing. It’s up to you.

….

DISCLAIMER:
While every care was taken for this not to sound like Russell Brand, Destination Here&Now (DH&N) takes no responsibility if it does. DH&N also takes no responsibility if this doesn’t work or if you drop dead on your bike. DH&N has no medical qualifications or the right to offer advice.

EXPLANATION OF THE RED ZONE:
Most of my friends and I all do well with our eating till we hit the RED ZONE, that period after work when you start snacking and before you know it you’ve devoured half the fridge and part of your arm. So my thinking with this is that if you take a moment in the morning to make sure you have a healthy snack to get you through till dinner you might be able to tick that red box and get through those couple of hours successfully. I’ve been doing this for a week and I feel so much better.

RED ZONE SNACK SUGGESTIONS:
If you’ve got any great snack ideas that you think others might like, please offer them up below.

In all seriousness if you’re struggling with your weight, I hope this helps.

Marg xx

 

Our normal programming will recommence shortly.

13 Comments