Category Archives: random nonsense (you’ll like these)

these will make you smile

We interrupt this blog for a fitness infommercial.

To be read in a loud, fast Cockney accent. Think Russell Brand.

….

Are you tired of feeling sluggish?

Well that’s because you don’t do nuffing. Right?

If you don’t do nuffing, nuffing’s ever go to change. Right?

So we’ve created a specially designed program to get you off that couch and into the jeans of your dreams.

It’s called MARG’S AMAAAZING 15 MINUTE GET ON YOUR BIKE PLAN.

It’s a simple 2 step program. It’s SOOO simple even I can do it.

2 steps. YES, YOU HEARD ME. TWO steps.

….

STEP 1: Get your fat arse out of bed.

STEP 2: Get your fat arse on to an exercise bike and pedal for 15 minutes.

….

That’s it!

You can pedal on the lowest setting. You can pedal on the highest setting.

OR…

you can sit up there for 15 minutes and do nuffing for all I care.  But that kind of defeats the purpose of getting up there in the first place doesn’t it you duffers. So stick on some music. Set a timer and off you go.

….

How much does this AMAAAZING transformation program cost?

NUFFING.

Yes you heard right.

NUFFING.

It’s free and it comes with a lifetime guarantee unless you decide to leave you fat arse in bed and do nuffing. We can’t do nuffing about that.

Not only do you get MARG’S AMAAAZING 15 MINUTE GET ON YOUR BIKE PLAN but we’ll throw in MARG’S AMAAAZING DAILY CHECKLIST to help make sure you GET OFF, and STAY OFF, your fat arse throughout the day. What’s it cost I hear you say. NUFFING!  ABSOLUTELY NUFFING! It’s FREE.

Click below to download YOUR VERY OWN PRINTABLE COPY.

MARG’S AMAAAAZING DAILY CHECKLIST_ew yeah download me now

Marg's daily checklist

What have you got to lose?

Lots by the look of it.

So get on your bike, download the checklist, and get pedalling to a better you.

Or do nuffing. It’s up to you.

….

DISCLAIMER:
While every care was taken for this not to sound like Russell Brand, Destination Here&Now (DH&N) takes no responsibility if it does. DH&N also takes no responsibility if this doesn’t work or if you drop dead on your bike. DH&N has no medical qualifications or the right to offer advice.

EXPLANATION OF THE RED ZONE:
Most of my friends and I all do well with our eating till we hit the RED ZONE, that period after work when you start snacking and before you know it you’ve devoured half the fridge and part of your arm. So my thinking with this is that if you take a moment in the morning to make sure you have a healthy snack to get you through till dinner you might be able to tick that red box and get through those couple of hours successfully. I’ve been doing this for a week and I feel so much better.

RED ZONE SNACK SUGGESTIONS:
If you’ve got any great snack ideas that you think others might like, please offer them up below.

In all seriousness if you’re struggling with your weight, I hope this helps.

Marg xx

 

Our normal programming will recommence shortly.

13 Comments

The joys of summer … not!

destination here and now vintage paper doll

destination here and now vintage paper doll

destination here and now vintage paper doll

Except I just looked in the mirror and saw this…

Dolly Dingle's little cousin

Dolly Dingle’s little cousin …

PETER!!

Dolly Dingle's little cousin Peter

It’s not the look I was aiming for at all.

*##%!

 

P.S. I am henceforth a woman on a mission. Any offers to walk or swim gratefully accepted.

P.S.S Just tell me whether I need to wear my Sailor Suit, Bathing Suit, Sunday Suit, Afternoon Suit or Play Suit.

P.S.S.S. I’m leaning towards the Sailor Suit.

*##%!

 

_______________________________________________________________________

Photos via Meggiecat and  The Vintage Moth. Thankyou.

 

15 Comments

I’m good to go. The planets and eggs are aligned and Saturn has got the #*** out of my house!

destinationhereandow_eggs and coronas

Who would have known.

Steve and I are both Librans and the reason that we’ve had the trickiest/toughest/most challenging three years of our lives is that Saturn apparently entered our Libran house in 2009, stayed completely unbeknowns to us in an upstairs room that we don’t even have, then finally cleared out on October 5 – without a word.

Nice gesture.

Apparently he/she’s headed over to Scorpio’s house. All I can say is sucked in Scorpio. He/she is all yours for the next three years. Lucky you.

I read it on a blog so it must be true.

So our house is now in order – in more ways than one.

Bathurst had its annual motor racing love-in last weekend with 250,000 people descending on our city of 40,000 to celebrate 50 years of V8 motor racing at Mount Panorama.

We cleared out to the coast.

But not before we spent FIVE SOLID WEEKS (on and off) (and let’s be honest Steve more than me) (I love that man) cleaning our house and preparing our garden to rent to a group of five guys from Victoria who I swear: slept here, ate takeaway here, showered here, paid us in full, left the house immaculate and our fridge full of Coronas.

Saturn could really take a lesson from these boys.

If only they drank prosecco (sigh).

Tomorrow my friend is bringing me fresh eggs and this morning the email that I’ve been waiting for, the one from Marcella Hazan, my Italian cookery hero, arrived in my inbox. So all things considered I reckon things are looking up.

The planets and eggs will soon be in perfect alignment, my house is clean and Saturn-free, and I’m looking forward to a quiet few days making homemade pasta and sharing some tales from Marcella (my new BFF) with you.

If I drank beer, I’d go and crack a Corona.

4 Comments
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  • About me

    Hi I’m Margaret Hogan, an Australian based designer, writer and artist.
    A sprinkler of creative magic.
    A wanderluster and weaver of gentle tales. read more.
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